07
Apr
10

Has No One Else Noticed The Irony In Tiger Woods’ Name?

Sigh. You know, all of this really, really, is too good to be true.

Further proof there is a God, and one with a sense on humor. I truly believe that there is power in a name, and this is a spectacular example of really, what is in a name?!

From the looks of the way his life has played out thusfar, it seems that the name “Tiger Woods” is indeed more than fitting and packed with a plethora of double entendres.

At first, I honestly thought his name was ridiculous. Also, you have to understand, I am really not a fan of golf. For me, no offense now to all my golfing fans (and indeed, there are so many of you!) , golf may just be the blandest, most boring, most yawn inducing sport on the planet. I mean, I guess how I see why it’s challenging. But I truly believe that golf was created by a bunch of wealthy people who wanted to pretend they were being “active”, while creating an environment where they could relax and enrobe themselves in their smashingly stuffy and snobbish splendor, promenade about  luxurious green pastures, lollygag in pristine clubs of the country, and ride around in jaunty fun carts all whilst sporting fabulous visors and madras plaid shorts. Preppy people needed a place to “prep” metaphorically speaking, in a social arena outside of mansions and preparatory schools. So they created the game of golf to accomplish this.

So, in my eyes, here we have this man who is about as exciting as early vegan dietary options, who looks to a little black on the outside, but on the inside is as about as  milky white as well…skim milk. He doesn’t even appear initially to be as full bodied as whole milk, let alone heavy cream. Tiger always appeared rather wimpy and anemic to me ,he was  limp and nerdy, very harmless and pastel,  not at all the image of a roaring,aggressive, flesh hungry beast on the prowl.

Boy, was I wrong!

Turns out, he embodies all the qualities his name  implies, and then some!

Turns out Tiger indeed a man with Wood.(s) plural, obviously. Lots of woods, lots and lots and lots and lots…of woods. And he is quite the “Tiger” . Grr. Gooooooooooo get ’em, Tiger! By the tail! Oh, but wait, that’s what he’s been doing already.

I wonder how influential those Kellogg’s commercials were in blowing up this poor boys ego. I can see him as a little boy on the green growling, “I’m grrrrreeeaat!”  every time he got a hole in one. You know if he was smart he could spin this thing and slap a suit on Kelloggs claiming they are responsible for planting the seed that germinated into his blooming Narcissus.

And I wonder, was it a “wood”, or  a “9-iron” that Elin “didn’t” try to clock him with that night of the crash? Hahaha! The  irony is killing me!

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