Archive for the 'but still a good point' Category

14
Jun
12

irritable, restless, discontent

no it’s not my bowels.

it should be my middle name .

grr. grr. grr. grr.

28
Dec
11

so much for that last idea

I should know anytime I put myself out there with some sort of “commitment” of  writing something, it’s pretty much a nail in the coffin for whatever bright idea it was I had.    

In this case it was my !new and improved! hard-hitting and edgy! gritty and REAL! recovery blog. My initial idea was to check in on a daily basis for the first year of my recovery and detail every horribly uncomfortable white-knuckle moment with searing truth and RAW, stripped down emotion.  

The only problem is…is that right now, I have no emotion.  For the past two weeks I have been as dull and flat as I was when I was an awkward prepubescent. Ok, bad analogy. But flat. Flat is accurate. It’s not even depression, I don’t think. I’m not sad. I just don’t give a shit. About anything.

At least when I was drunk, I felt something…even if it was stupid, and like shit.

I think the term is anhedonia. It would be a pretty name, Anhedonia. But not with my last name. Anhedonia Lee is just stupid. Anyways, it’s sort of  like being the walking dead.

It’s the awful kind of grumpy-funk that makes hours of semi-catatonic head-nodding to Foster The People the most thrilling part of of my day. Yes, Foster The People. I know. I should be shot. The Gigamesh mix of that daffy song is pretty festive, I must say.  I hope secretly I’m not planning some Virginia Tech kinda freak-out massacre. Nah. I’m just sadly enjoying really really awful music. I am old and way past my peak freshness.

30
Dec
10

Appropro

In light of Scarlett’s marital woes, I am dedicating one of her own songs to herself. I think she will find it it fitting, touching, winsome… or perhaps just  a touch annoying. But whatever. She’ll at least be happy that I was thinking about her, I’m sure. (*Yes, we are close like that*)

 

19
Mar
10

Um, Why Is The “Fascinated” Emoticon The Exact Same One As “Accomplished”? Originally posted on Myspace 09/05/08

Um, Why Is The “Fascinated” Emoticon The Exact Same One As “Accomplished”?
Current mood:  annoyed
Category: Religion and Philosophy

I was just going back and reviewing my blog posts for today, and I noticed something really disturbing.

On one blog, I expressed my mood as being “accomplished”. Now, granted, this was an attempt at being subtly and slyly ironic, as it was a blog clearly aiming at exposing what a fuck-up I am.

Regardless, my sarcasm was awarded a cute turquoise emoticon face with a great big “shit-eating” grin, complete with the illusion of three big teeth.

That was all good and fine. Until, I should add, that I posted another blog on MGMT where I said I was “Fascinated”.

I realized…I got the same damn emoticon!

I took a second look and really scrutinized the second emoticon closely, as I didn’t want to unfairly label an emotion as being a copy cat unless it really and truly was.

Hmmm. Yep. It appears to be pretty fricking close. It is round. Turquoise. Same shit-eating grin. Wow. I feel kinda duped.

Not ONLY is it a lazy and slothful excuse of emoticon production by the Emoticon Production Team of MySpace…I mean, I don’t know about you, but part of the fun of adding an emoticon is about seeing exactly what crazy little face will the emoticon be making at me this time????!!!!

Will it be yellow, with crazy googly eyes, or will it be red, with angry eyebrows and steam coming out it’s ears? Will it be surpised? Quizzical? Will it be sticking it’s tongue out at me? Silly emoticon, always such a jokester! I don’t know, and that’s the best part. I’m expecting the emoticon to surprise me each time with it’s spot-on interpretation of my deepest innermost feelings and desires.

Which means…theoretically…in a morally, decent, functional and correct society…every distinct emotion should have its OWN distinct emoticon.

Emotions are vast rivers of depth running deeply through the depths of a man’s soul. They are deep, and, deeply powerful. They are not to be taken lightly or for granted. And for the love of God, they should be respected enough to have a distinctive AND accurate emoticon to represent them.

Ok, the turquoise shit eating grin…may have someone effectively captured my sardonic twist on “accomplished”. But “fascinated”? especially when discussing MGMT?
No, I don’t think so. I would say a fleshy pale face with flushed cheeks, softly drooling mouth with tongue partially exposed salivating lightly, with large blue eyes dewy with lust/catatonia, rimmed with smoky black eyeliner and finished off with Lancome Definicils. (It’s a classic!) Now that would be a far more accurate facialization of the feelings I was feeling.

Get it right, MySpace.

Currently listening:
Oracular Spectacular
By MGMT
Release date: 2008-01-22



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