Kate Gosselin to perform ‘Jon and Kate’-themed ‘Dancing With the Stars’ routine

March 31, 4:52 PMJon and Kate Plus 8 ExaminerJessica Carlson

While Kate Gosselin may have dodged a bullet on this week’s Dancing WIth the Stars, she might not get as lucky next week if a reported ill-conceived routine takes place.

According to E! Online, Gosselin and dance partner Tony Dolovani are in the midst of coming up with a “Jon and Kate Plus 8” themed routine for the “storytelling episode” of the show. Tony will take the roll of Jon, and they will attempt to somehow weave the tale of the drama that is the Jon and Kate Gosselin marriage and divorce into a short dance number. Should be… interesting.

While in theory there’s potential there to create a unique piece the likes of which nobody has ever seen in the 10 seasons of DWTS, Gosselin has not demonstrated so far that she has the dancing chops to pull it off, nor the ability to take direction to help gain the necessary skills — Dolovani nearly walked off the show after Kate’s recent hectoring about his dance teaching abilities. Keep in mind, Dolovani not only is a professional dance teacher, but as he pointed out on the show, he also professionally teaches dance teachers how to dance.

But that’s not stopping Kate from remaining positive. She told E!, “It’s my story over the past two years. We’re very, very excited. [It’s] dramatic. Oh my gosh, so much drama.”

Dancing With the Stars airs live Mondays and Tuesdays at 8/7c on ABC.

Being sick sucks :(

Sorry folks, I haven’t been posting lately because I have been feeling rather under-the-weather. And I’m not quite sure why, but my illnesses always seem to align themselves with my menstrual cycle. Which just has to be proof of a larger, much more nefarious conspiracy at hand here. It it pretty obvious that there is some sinister force that is out to cripple me psychically or at the very least just really gets its jollies by metaphorically pissing on me while I’m down. Damn you satan, quit fucking with my fung shui. Leave me alone. Your attempts at derailing me and curtailing my acid-tongued malignment of your pitiful minions (I.e. Kate Gosselin and others) are weak and effects are short-lived.

I may have fallen down, but I can, and will get up. Thanks to my Life Alert Emergency Response Pendant (further proof there is a God), like The Phoenix I have risen from the ashes of my couch, and as Aerosmith and Gene Autry would say, I’m back in the saddle again. And although my senses are still a bit dulled (pleasantly) from overgorging on NyQuil, I’m sure I will find something sufficiently snarky to say in no time.

If I don’t puke first, then go back to sleep.

I will say, Kate did look sassy in that red get-up. It almost made up for her performance eroding into a sad gymboree play date with her kids.